


ai hod yu in

by sleepy_writer21



Category: The 100
Genre: Bellamy Blake - Freeform, F/M, bellamy x reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-20 11:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20227138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepy_writer21/pseuds/sleepy_writer21
Summary: The reader is a grounder that also hopped on the rocket to go to space. She’s been suppressing her feelings for Bellamy Blake since the day they met in the middle of an Azgeda war march.





	ai hod yu in

You weren’t sure if it was 3 in the morning or almost 6 in the morning. You were uncertain because at this time it was confusing to know the time when the earth’s and the sun’s rotation was over the small dot of green. It was when the sun shined and the darkness of space covered the earth at the same time. Not close enough to be night or really early in the morning. 

You’ve been sitting by your favorite window for a while now, both of your knees touching your chest. At this time of the night or morning, it was when it was also the coldest. 

This window was the one that everyone overlooked, the one that was on the furthest section of this spinning ring in the space you called home. 

Suddenly you heard steps reaching your location. They were soft and steady, followed with a yawn. The corner of your lips formed a small curve. 

This window was also the closest to his bedroom. 

“Can’t sleep?” 

Bellamy’s deep and somnolent voice sent chills through your entire body. 

He stood close to you, leaning his body against the cold wall. 

You nodded, “Yeap.” You replied without looking away from the window. “It’s strange, every night, I wake up at the same hour, and come to the same window to drown my sorrows… with water. God, I miss liquor.” 

“Better than drowning them with Monty’s algae,” Bellamy said as he slowly dragged his body down to the floor to the spot next to you. 

You chuckled at his attempt to make a joke. 

“Ah, there it is,” Bellamy said softly.

You looked at him, his eyes smaller than usual, probably from his sleep. “What?”

You and Bellamy shared a moment, gazing at each other’s eyes. 

“Your smile,” he said, smiling. 

You let out a soft and tired chuckle as a response. You rested your head against the wall, eyes going back to the spot of green. “Three years.”

“Time violation,” Bellamy spoke, “dishes or latrine?”

“Dishes,” you replied and you both shared a laugh. 

The two of you kept silent for a long second, both continue to stare at the green dot of possibilities on earth. 

“What sorrows?” he asked.

Once again you shifted your eyes towards Bellamy, he was already looking at you. 

“Three years, Bellamy,” you repeated. “I miss Earth, I miss the fresh air, I miss-,” you sighed deeply, “I miss being able to walk around the forest…”

“Without the fear of walking into a war?” Bellamy added. 

You chuckled, “It was one time…”

“That’s how we met,” he said with his voice low and deep. 

“That’s how we met,” you repeated. “If I remember right, I saved your ass that day.” 

You two shared another laugh, this one was full of memories of meeting him on the land. You and Bellamy crossed paths on the land where Azgeda was marching towards Polis in an act of war. 

“Good thing you weren’t Azgeda,” he murmurs. 

“I heard that,” Echo’s voice joined the room.

You two instantly looked up to see her serious expression starring down at you guys. She glared for a couple of seconds and then continued to walk down the hall. 

“Three years and I still don’t know how you can stand her,” you let out.

“What’s the point?” he said. 

You stood up, “What’s the point? She almost killed your sister… She- She did terrible things to my people.”

“Azgeda,” Bellamy said as he followed you and stood up. “Azgeda did that to your family.” 

“She is Azgeda,” you told him.

“We’re stuck here for two more years, Y/N. There’s no Skaikru, Trikru, Grounders or Azgeda in here… We are stuck in this ring for two years, maybe even more if we don’t find a way to magically create Hydrazine… So, yeah, Y/N, what’s the point?”

You sighed as you watched him walk away from you. 

“Unbelievable” you muttered under your breath, turning back to the window, you glanced down to Eden. 

“If pissing him off is your way of flirting, you’re doing a great job.” 

You rolled your eyes at the sound of Murphy’s snarky comment. But at the end of the day, he was the only one who knew about your secret crush on Bellamy. 

“Shut up, Murphy,” you spat as you began to walk towards the common room. 

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel,” Murphy reached you. 

You glared at him, “What’s the point?”

“You really telling me that?” Murphy said. “The point is that we still have two years full of boredom and surviving in this wheel. It would suck less if you have a person to ride it out with.” 

“He defended Echo,” you glared at him. “I said she almost killed his sister and he defended her. For all I know he’s already screwing her. So, yeah - what’s the point?”

The two of you were in the furthest section of the common room. You could see Bellamy and Raven talking by the table meanwhile Echo was teaching Harper and Emori new fighting skills. It had become a morning routine to learn fighting skills before meals and sometimes multiple times during the day. 

Bellamy paused his conversation with Raven to look at you. 

“Just tell him how you feel,” Murphy whispered to you before joining the group.

You contemplated the option of turning around and not having breakfast for the day. The option of spending the entire day in your room trying to draw. Or do anything that wasn’t being in the same room as Bellamy Blake, or anyone.

“Y/N?” Monty’s voice brought you back from space. 

You scoffed at yourself, at the irony of your thoughts.

“You okay?” Monty asked. 

You looked at him, “Yeah. I’m fine.” 

“Are you?” Monty stood next to you with a tray on his hands that contained the green goo bucket everyone called food and a couple of cups. 

You grabbed the cups from the tray, “God can anyone in this spring stop asking me if I’m fine? I am fine! I swear next person asks me that, I’ll start throwing punches.” 

He looked at you, his worry increasing but he kept his silence as you both walked side by side towards the table. Everyone looked at you guys, everyone knew it was time to eat but weren’t excited about it. This wasn’t eating, it was surviving. You began to pass the cups forward, once everyone had a cup, you took a seat next to Murphy and Emori. 

The eight of you motioned the cups forward, doing a silence cheer before taking a big sip. After that swing, you felt like throwing up instantly but this substance was something you needed to keep down to survive. 

“So, I’m space walking today-”

“Shotgun,” you cut Raven’s sentence before she could finish.

Instantly you felt all eyes are on you. 

“What?” Emori spoke.

You looked up from the cup and looked at Raven. “I said… Shotgun.”

“You… You want to spacewalk?” Raven spoke.

“I want to spacewalk,” you replied. 

You stared at her eyes with a slight of desperation. 

She took a deep breath, “You got it. We are spacewalking.” 

“But you don’t like space waking…” Bellamy spoke, “You - You’re terrified of it.”

You shrugged as you stood up and walked to the dock. The annoyance of him defending Echo didn’t let you think straight. You only wanted to be alone and if walking into space was the only way you could have a couple of minutes to yourself, that is what you were going to do. 

/ / / 

There was an awkward silence on the dock as you and Raven began to get ready for the spacewalk. You could see the space from the door. A whole black emptiness, with only a door made of steel blocking you from being out in the exile. Only a door separating you from the thin line of being dead or alive. 

“Why are you really doing this?” Raven broke the silence.

Throughout the last few months, you and Raven had bonded and become friends. Being friends with her wasn’t something you could have predicted when you hopped on the rocket, running from Praimfaya. You didn’t want to speak of the reasons you wanted to be alone but you could not lie to her either. She was too smart for that, she knew better than that.

“I just need to be alone for a couple of minutes…” You sighed, as your eyes never left your space suit as you put it on.

Raven furrowed her eyebrows, “I mean… I get that. It can get pretty annoying with everyone but… Why?”

You looked at her in the eye. “I just want to be alone… Truly alone. That’s it.”

She nodded somehow understanding that you weren’t ready to talk about it yet. Instead of continually asking, she walked towards you and helped you to finish up the check-ups of your suit before walking outside.

“Ready?” Raven asked

You nodded and put on the helmets. When Raven was about to close the door, Bellamy appeared in the room. He had a look of worry in his eyes, you could see his chest breathing heavily. 

“Hey,” he looked at you. “Are you really gonna do this?”

“Yeah,” you responded, “I just need to be alone, Bellamy.”

Bellamy clenched his jaw, taking a step closer to you. He holds your arm, caressing it softly. “Be careful, please?” his eyes were soft. 

You gave him a small smile, not being able to stay mad at him. “I’ll be careful, Blake. Now leave this chamber before you get yourself floated.” 

He chuckled as he stepped back with both hands tucked into his pants pockets, his eyes never left yours as Raven closed the chamber. She began to speak her astronaut language but you weren’t listening to her. You were completely zoned out in Bellamy’s eyes. 

You were so zoned out in him that you did not hear when Raven opened the door behind you. Bellamy’s eyes widened, looking away from you for a second and looking into space. You could feel your body floating, turning around Raven was already in space floating. 

You turned back at Bellamy, he gave you a smile and watched you float into space. Somehow knowing that he was there watching you, that he was there, made you forget about your fears and made you feel safe.

“I get that you’re relieving some stress but I actually need your help over here,” Raven spoke through the radio that is built into the suits. 

Turning around you floated towards her and began to help scrub in the antennas and turning them towards Earth’s. She asked for your help in other areas of the outside of the station. 

“I gotta say,” Raven spoke once you two were safe inside the ring. “For someone who’s terrified of space… You did pretty well, Y/N.”

You let out a laugh, “For some reason, I wasn’t thinking about how could I die.”

“Oh, I think I know the reason,” Raven said, glancing at the hall.

You turned following her eyes, confused with her words until your eyes met with Bellamy’s. He was standing in the hallway, his body leaning against the wall, looking at you. 

“H-He’s not the reason…” you stuttered lowly.

“Stop being a baby about it and tell him,” Raven said. 

You turned at her, “Tell him what?”

Raven glared at you, “How you feel.”

“I don’t feel anything for him,” you glared at her. 

“Whatever you tell yourself, it’s none of my business, but stop lying to yourself.”

“It’s not simple,” you said with your voice low as you could.

“He is into you, Y/N,” Raven said, “and you’re into him. It is simple.”

She did not let you speak another word after that sentence. She pressed the button for the air compression door to open. Raven walked by Bellamy, giving him a quick nod and a tap on the shoulder as she passed. 

Your chest felt tight when Bellamy began to walk towards you with both hands tucked in his pockets. He gave you a small smile which you returned immediately. 

“How do you feel?” he asked. 

You breathed deeply and smiled, “I feel lighter.” 

“That’s good,” he replied caressing the back of his neck, “wha- what are you going to do for the day?” 

“I was going to plan on napping all day,” you chuckled. “Why? What are you going to do?”

“Uh-, nothing special, I was actually hoping for some Trigedasleng lessons?” He asked.

“Okay, I’ll just take a shower and I’ll see you at the window?” 

Bellamy smirked, “Yeah.”

/ / /

“Let’s go again, strik sis,” you pronounced.

Bellamy nodded and repeated the words, “Strik sis.”

You guys were sitting in front of each other on the floor with both legs crossed. 

“What does that mean again?” Bellamy rose an eyebrow.

“Little sister,” you said. “I’m pretty sure by the time we go back down she’ll be even more fluent in Trigedasleng… Gotta get you up to speed.” 

Bellamy chuckled, “Thanks for doing this.”

You shrugged, “No problem. Next phrase, Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim.”

He took a deep breath, “Mebi oso nait-”

“Na hit,” you spoke correcting his word.

“Na hit,” he tried again, “choda op nodotaim.”

“Nou foto,” you smirked.

“Nou foto?” he asked not knowing the word. 

Your smirk didn’t disappear, “Not bad.”

Bellamy smiled, “Okay. I want to try a harder one.”

You took a moment to think another phrase to teach him. It was there in front of him, seeing eye to eye that you thought of the feelings that have been eating you alive for the past four years. Even long before hopping into that ring, you had feelings for Bellamy Blake but you never were brave enough to tell him. But you were brave enough, you hopped into a rocket and were living in space even though there were a million things that could go wrong and kill you. 

It was there as Bellamy looked deep into your eyes that you could not speak out loud what you were feeling. It was at that moment that you did not see yourself living a second more in a lie. 

“Ai hod yu in,” you spoke and your body instantly froze.

Bellamy nodded, “Ai hod yu in?”

“It means…,” you breathed deeply, “it means… “I love you.”

Bellamy’s eyes instantly widened and entire body froze. You were breathing heavily as your heart began to beat faster. You thought of the idea of running away to your room because there was no other place to run where he would not see you but you stayed right where you sat.

“Ai hod yu in,” Bellamy repeated.

You looked away to the window, “You don’t have to repeat it… I shouldn’t have said that but that’s how I feel… It’s been years and today-,” you shook your head. “I just couldn’t hold it-”

Your words were interrupted by Bellamy’s warm lips. He was kissing you and you felt like suddenly the gravity in the ring was zero. The way your body felt as he kissed you was out of this world. His kiss was deep and full of passion and you wanted more. 

God, you wanted so much more.

Bellamy broke the kiss but hold you closer to him. 

“Ai hod you in,” he whispered against your lips. His breathing was heavy and his dark eyes pierced your soul. “Since that night in Mount Weather… Ai hod you in.”

You smiled for a second, taking his words in and kissing once again.


End file.
